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梧桐没有萌芽

梧桐没有萌芽
  

  梧桐没有萌芽

  ——影子豆

  

  

  那个冬日,你在长满没[url="http://www.yimingjj.com/]怎么彻底治愈白癜风"[/url]有绿叶的梧桐马路旁遇见了他。你有些惊讶。毕业才半年,他长高了,长帅了。那忧郁的眼睛里有一种让你遐思的东西,那变粗的声音[url="http://pf.39.net/bdfyy/bdflx/]北京哪个治白癜风医院最好"[/url]有一种令你蓦然回首般的男子汉的吸引力。那晚,你有生以来第一次失眠,你的满脑子里全是这一次邂逅中他的一颦一笑。少女的直觉准确无误地告诉你:你钟情于他了!

  次日,你翻出了一本从未用过的日记。你的日记里开始页页出现他的名字。那时,只要遇见同学,你就会拐弯抹角地打听他的消息,你总会不由自主地谈起他,可当同学们有丝毫的察觉时,你又立即千方百计地消除同学们的警觉。

  有一天,他和另几个同学突然来到你家,你一下慌了,尽管他们只是偶然路过,走进你家。分别时,你送他们到车站,平时总觉得让你脚酸心烦的一段路,那日你却觉得特别的短,平时和同学们一起最爱叽叽喳喳的你,那日只说了几句寒暄的话。都是因为他么?

  你想见他,但你却不知他是否想见你。少女的自尊不允许你公开去找他。于是,你设法在他可能走动的街上遇见他。可每次人为的并非偶然遇见,你又只能匆匆地与他打个招呼。总之,你在留意,你在他的眼神中寻找某种渴望有的信息。但你判断不了,有还是没有?整个冬天,你没有觉得过寒冷,尽管你在马路上,在冷风里,因为你在苦苦地思念着他。

  突然,又一次人为的相遇,他告诉你他要参军了,过两日就走。你的心顿时定格在惊诧的状态。你对他说,他走时你去送他,但那天你却躲得很远,只是你能看见他。车走了,你后悔了,后悔没有站在他得面前。为此,你消沉了整整一个月,烦躁了一个月。

  你很想给他写信,但是你无从知道他得地址。令你惊喜若狂的是,一天你突然收到了他的来信,虽然仅仅是一张纸,仅仅说他去部队沿途经过的哪些地方,新兵要接受什么样的训练。你捧着信看了又看,直到记住了每一个字的形状。当天,你就给他写了回信,不知写了多少封,成功的却只有一封。你字湛句酌,不能让他明白你爱他,却又要向他透露你在爱他的信息。第二天一大早,你到邮局等待邮局大门打开,可贴好邮票准备把信投进邮筒时,你又犹豫了,能这么快就回信么?他看了信会怎么想呢?你把贴好邮票的信又带回家,先压在枕头下,后来又审慎地放到床单上,后来又轻轻拆开信封,看信,写得是否满意。信最后终于发了出去,尽管那是五天之后得事了。

  春节转眼就要到了,要好得同学开始相互串门。你最要好的女友来你家。在你的闺房里,你们说着你们少女的秘密。女友提到他的名字时,你的心慌了,脸开始发烧。女友说:“他去部队之前去我复读的班里,看过我,说他毕业后谁都见过就是没有见过我。后来·····后来还给写了那样的信·······还寄来了照片····”女友说着,羞涩地幸福地搂紧了你。你的心顿时掉进了冰窖。你的心在痛苦:“天哪!我苦苦地爱着他,他却在我爱得这样痴的时候追求别人!”你心酸得不能不闭上眼睛。

  “他骗了我!”——你心里喊。你恨不得杀掉他。那个春节你过得极糟,你没有笑过,你没有勇气再走上那段有梧桐数得马路。

  许久,你才冷静下来。你开始想,他压根儿没有骗过你,而是你自己骗了自己。后来,你的脸上终于有了笑。但你又感觉到这笑少了点什么了,你没有恨他,你对自己说“不爱他”,倒也真的似乎不爱他了。只是,你很难对别得男孩子感到“那种”兴趣。

  你再没有与他通信。三年后的春天,他回来探亲,你和几个同学去看他。你惊异地发现,你们在一起仍然能笑能说。

  往后的春天,你敢走那曾经人为地与他相遇的那段马路了。马路上梧桐依旧。梧桐泛青最早,不过有一天你发现一节树枝上快要萌芽的枝梢枯黄了,没有长出绿叶[url="http://www.lohasidc.com/m/]治疗白癜风外用"[/url]来。你心里凄然。你陡然觉得自己与他的故事是一个没有萌芽的冬日里的故事。你便把这段故事封锁日记里,不再翻开。

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